Defining Yourself in Motherhood

Becoming a mother is a transformative journey filled with joy, challenges, and mindset shifts. As a Black mom and therapist, I understand the unique complexities we face as we navigate motherhood while striving to hold onto the essence of who we are.

The journey to redefining yourself in this chapter of life is not just important–it’s essential for your wellbeing and self-fulfillment.

Motherhood brings about a variety of emotional and psychological changes. From the moment you find out you’re expecting, to the first touch of your baby, and beyond– your sense of self begins to evolve! Sometimes, this shift can feel confusing as you try to balance who you were before motherhood with who you are becoming. These changes and feelings are natural, and acknowledging them is the first step towards embracing your new self.

It is important that you understand that motherhood does NOT erase your pre-existing identity– instead, it adds layers to it! You are still the amazing individual you were before, but now you also have the beautiful role of a mother. Balancing these parts can be difficult, but it is possible! It is important to celebrate both the person you were before and the mother you are becoming. So, how do you do that?

  1. Reflect and Acknowledge: Take time to reflect on the changes you have experienced. Acknowledge the strengths and qualities you bring from your pre-motherhood life into your new role.
  2. Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries– it is okay to prioritize time for yourself without feeling guilty!
  3. Connect with your Passions: Revisit hobbies and interests that brought you joy before becoming a mother.
  4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself and give yourself grace. Motherhood is a journey of ups and downs!
  5. Grow your Village: Surround yourself with a support community. Don’t hesitate to seek professional support if you need additional support!

Defining yourself in motherhood is a continuous and evolving process! It’s about blending the essence of who you were with the amazing new parts of who you are becoming! Acknowledge the mindset shifts, embrace the many dimensions of your role, and take steps to balance these factors so you can navigate this journey with self-compassion and grace!

Remember, you are not just a mother– you are a BOLD, VIBRANT, and AMAZING WOMAN whose identity is enriched by the experience of motherhood!

Hope this offered some comfort and support– feel free to share your story and experiences!


Cassandre Elena